Revisiting the Myth of Beautiful and Successful Women

History, from any era and philosophical age has agreed to the existence of beautiful women. Recall Helen of Troy who caused men to flip over and wage war against one another? She, too, after all, was part of a myth widely hailed as a tradition for the good old Greek. So we’re forced to agree that beautiful women are the only ones who are able to subdue strong men, even the strongest of them. History rarely mentions the beautiful paired with the wisest, or the smartest, only the bravest and strongest (and nowadays, with the richest).

Grace Kelly, the most widely talked about performer of her era

Grace Kelly, the most widely talked about performer of her era

 

So, what does history teach us women? That in order to be able to subdue men (the strongest, bravest, etc) we HAVE TO be beautiful. We have to polish ourselves within and out, reform our feminine manners and ethics, and be as humble and seductive as we can. A question you might ask then, is “Then what happened to strong women, the brave women, the ones who charged through life with or without the presence of men on their sides?”

The answer is this: I don’t know.

Well, at least I’m not so sure about the answer. I’ve always respected those women, I’ve always envied them. After all, everything we read was probably taken from surface experiences -the experiences that were extreme or out of context for the ordinary folks, the ones that are worth mentioning-. The stories, and histories, often forget to mention the emotional and mentally unstable state of the heroes, which I’m sure happens A LOT. Like, A LOT.

The things I’ve always thought were missing from most successful (and beautiful, of course) women stories are:
– Her emotional state of mind along the way
– Her denial of where and who she was on the beginning
– How she faced the mental burden and social ordeal for being who she was
– The man she picked out to be on her side (and the men she strayed far from)
– Most importantly, the friends she chose (and the friends she strayed far from)
– The plastic, unbreathable mask she had to convey to push the indecent (and imbecile) ones away

Interesting people

Because I’m sure the most interesting and well-respected women are not inside the circle

Okay, maybe she’s not as emotionally and mentally unstable as we imagine her to be. Maybe she just loved what she’s doing too much that all the suffering didn’t matter a pinch for her. She’s a happy little pony doing what she loved and she never thought one bit about the philosophical and challenging life questions. She had perseverance and patience, that’s for sure. But then again, does that mean that she’s just in luck? Does that mean that she actually didn’t think much about all the other life questions -you know, questions like “how can I have a meaningful life?”, or “what can I do to end world suffering?”, and such…-. Or did she?

Among all the ridiculous arguments I have floating in my head, I know for sure, that the ones who experienced most pain, are the ones who deserved the most love, and respect of course. A beautiful woman is dandy to the eyes, but when proven that she had skipped life’s unendurable obstacles and questions, the trained eyes and brains would quickly shift their attention to another… another beautiful woman. That is why, I would suggest myself to not hide away from the philosophical and psychological hinders along the way, in order to be the woman I’ve always hoped to be, one who does not need to perform a charade in front of others, and one who does not rely on her weakness (often mistaken as cuteness by the opposite gender) to rampage through life.

But why? Why do I need to be that kind of women? Because that’s my kind of women, and as lonely as the paved road may be, I find that path emotionally and intellectually satisfying. For the moment, at least.

Now I just have to figure out how to be beautiful first.

 

 

 

-The Dilly Chic-

What Exactly is a “Tomboy”?

Okay, let’s start off with a proper definition of a tomboy. On second thought, no thanks, that would be boring. Let’s just start with a common general assumption of what a tomboy is like and what a tomboy is not.

 

A TOMBOY ACCORDING TO SOCIETY:

– Does not wear skirt

– Swears, a lot.

– Is considered one of the boys (self proclaimed or according to peers)

– Able to carry a carton of bottled drinks by herself

 

WHAT A TOMBOY IS NOT (ACCORDING TO ME AND SOME PARTS OF GENERAL SOCIETY):

– A TOMBOY DOES NOT WEAR PINK! EVER! OMG!

– A pussy

– Crybaby or whiner

 

Actually, the list is pretty much made up by yours truly. You have to understand that I’m pretty much a tomboy myself. I swear more than some guys I know, and my peers often state that I am quite portable (in terms of gender, which was kind of offensive, but I’ve sharpened the “fuck it” skill since my tender teenage years, and the skill has reached its maximum level by now)

What I wanted to discuss was actually the types of tomboy I’ve faced. So far I’ve come up with three types of tomboys, there might be more, but my brain capacity is preoccupied with fucking ridiculous life stuff right now so I’ll just present you with the current three on my mind:

 

FIRST: Self proclaimed tomboy (but in reality she broke all general society rule of a tomboy)

tomboy woman illustration

Illustration by Carmel Joan

 

Obviously she’s not. But she loves the image of a boyish, stylish woman who can live up to her own rules without constraints of society’s image of what a girl should be. She idealizes the “ideal” tomboy and wishes to be one. But she’s obviously not. She wears baseball cap and oversized shirt with skinny jeans to prove how much of a tomboy she really is (not). And of course, to further emphasize the point she puts #tomboy #oneoftheboys #sporty #boyish hashtags (I’m sorry, I’m not aware of the latest hashtags happenings, so my previous statement is debatable) along with her Instagram photos, flooded with many followers who are hypnotized to think she’s a tomboy. She just can’t break out of the stereotype that a tomboy has to look boyish without altering the mental and psychological state as well.

 

SECOND: The one who does not claim to be a tomboy. She just does not like to be boxed into a certain category. But her loving peers and family keep on insisting that she is one.

tomboy women illustration

 

She’s the one struggling to find a peaceful pace in society. Brash at times, but possibly (and rarely) caring when needed. She might not need to look boyish. She could even be incredibly beautiful and feminine at a quick glance. Or not. But her independent features and perseverance more often than not demand the critics of others who are prejudiced, who call her too manly for her own good. She’s really not. She’s just uncomfortable in the company of girls (quite possible some of them the self proclaimed tomboys) who chatter in joy about the demise of others. And deep down she struggles to embrace her femininity and strength at the same time. Most of the time her mental state is quite questionable too. Oh poor girl…

 

THIRD: A closeted lesbian. Or a lesbian in denial.

self made-watermarked

 

This one is perhaps the most interesting one out of them all. She does not simply follow the trend as in the first one, and she’s not as mentally unstable as the second one. Okay, mental stability is relative to the bearer. But her instability is more focused on the fact that she felt wrong, and only God knows what. She does not want to shame her narrow minded relatives and friends by admitting or coming out, because wow, that would be rad. She knows what she is, she enjoys it, she embraces life, but her soul must accept the fact that no matter what she does, there will always be people (or retards) that discriminate and push her away.

 

Do you see how complicated tomboyism is? No? I might be over thinking about this, but you just have to admit that women who claim to be boyish for the sake of the image are demanding to be crushed right in the middle of their spines. The self proclaimers don’t feel the mental and psychological challenge of not fitting in where one should be, or rather, where the society expects one to be. She enjoys the shower of attention by others stating how “boyish” she is (most likely from fellow shallow waters), and continues the tomboy clothing trend with the red lipsticks to further the compliment.

 

But then again, who am I to analyze tomboys? Correct me if I’m wrong.

 

 

 

-The Dilly Chic-

A Fulfilling Life and Where Fashion Fits In

A FULFILLING LIFE!

For the past couple of years/ decades, we’ve been fed with the magical world of fulfilment and self emancipation. Money is not that big of a deal, a handsome husband/ beautiful wife is now overrated (PERSONALITY IS KEY!), don’t get satisfied with what we’ve had, don’t inflate in our own achievements, and so on. A fulfilling life is pretty much the key to living a good life and dying in eternal peace.

 

Let us describe some proper and general requirements to achieving the so called “fulfilling life”:

– Good job with great pay (it doesn’t have to be able to cover all the Hermes expenses!), more specifically a challenging job that promotes personal growth and supportive environment

– A loving family. No description needed.

– Decent and/or (if you’re lucky and beautiful) a great social life. Bars here and there, gastronomic satisfaction that cost half of your monthly income, but it’s okay because excessive hanging out is soooo important.

РA hobby to escape from the dreadful job (which you considered to be good at first)

– Vacations every here and there

– Philanthropy, to further promote self esteem and reassurance of what a fucking good human being we are

– Am I missing something else? No? Okay.

woman smoking illustration

 

Let me note first that I am not against the idea of a good life we can live with. It’s just that priorities are getting awkwardly mixed up and bumping one over the other. Back then (in our parents’ and the preceding era), women only had three choices in life; to be a teacher, a nurse, or secretary. The fathers did whatever decent paying work they could to cover family expenses. No such thing as a “dreadful job” because technically, all jobs were considered dreadful. Perhaps only a select and lucky few managed to break out from the stigma and find that gloriously meaningful life.

 

But now? A fulfilling job is the demand. We want to feel great and awesome and in control of ourselves. We are diluted, in both good and bad ways.

 

Fashion is one of the industries that promote image and satisfaction. Most people I know who work in the fashion field(both in real life and online) are racing to boost their network, image, social life, and popularity. I am no escapee myself. In fact, some of them use fashion as some sort of escape from their 9-to-5. To live inside the fashion scene is considered to be a fulfilling life. It’s a great life, full of self promotion and social network, and most of all, it seems fun.

 

But who knows? We’re all too familiar with the backstory of fashion. Anorexic models, unrealistic body image, implausible work hours, unhealthy obsession of image among other things. BUT then again, equally diluted as our dreams are our idealism of a “fulfilling life”. Why can’t we just be happy with what we have, with whatever clothes we’re able to buy, with whatever dear friends we’re able to hold close? Do we REALLY have to be that self-obsessed all the time? Do people who want to have a career in fashion have to be that SOCIAL and popular all the time? Seems a little pffffttt if you ask me.

 

 

“It’s all about the state of mind and perception, which ultimately decide our outlook and decision about life”

 

 

 

-The Dilly Chic-

VOGUE: The Brutal Truth Issue

Disclaimer: this is obviously not an actual Vogue issue. I am in no way closely affiliated with Conde Nast except that I’m an occasional reader who can only dream of looking like one of their vigorously photoshopped girls. This is more of an imaginary issue I’ve always had in my mind that would be perfectly suitable for Vogue (I chose Vogue because 1). I’m biased, and 2). I know what font Vogue uses for its cover). Because, y’know, magazines like to spark some brilliantly concocted delusions upon us all, not in a bad way though.

Imaginary Vogue Issue

 

I came up with this from a random passing thought obtained during one of those sleepless nights.

“What if magazines actually tell the truth? What if people are told the cold hard truth they’ve been avoiding their whole life? What would their reaction be? Will they still be blindly buying and cult following those mags?”

You know, the usual thoughts emitting from a 20 year old engineering student.

 

So to answer my questions… Wait, I actually am not hoping my questions would be answered because: 1) I already knew the answers, 2) I don’t like the answers, and 3) It won’t happen anyway. Even though magazines like to give out real life tips and all, I doubt they’ll do something massive like telling people the actual secrets of life. The cold bubble of truth. Besides, we all know truth is like a double-edge sword. Truth hurts those unequipped with the proper armor.

After all, how biased is the statement “One Direction sucks!”? I mean come on, such statement only comes from people who have had a taste of real music in life. And the fact that some people love to buy things because “they’ve seen them in some magazines“? They don’t understand the process of discovering their personal styles. Therefore, they don’t like to be attacked with the truth, because if they know, GOSH, they might have to try figuring it out (which is a bummer, because they’d rather research which hot male actors are gay).

Which one do you prefer? Magazines telling the truth or selling delusions?

 

 

 

-The Dilly Chic-